Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
