walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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