I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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