I don't think brook has ever known best
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
