Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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