I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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