I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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