I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
