I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
