Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Every concussion has its silver lining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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