Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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