I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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