Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Randomize
