I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
