Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
