is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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