I want to stick my p in your. b.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
