Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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