we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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