So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
