how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Randomize
