As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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