i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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