mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
