Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
