When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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