my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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