hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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