was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
