I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
