You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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