Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Randomize
