I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
