4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
