9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
