The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
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I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
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He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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