why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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