I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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