i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
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I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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