Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
