My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I want you more than these girls want KFC
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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