when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
