Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Where is the hickey?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize