I could have mohawked her pubes.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
