we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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