I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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