Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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