When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
