yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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