My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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