to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
