two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
