Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
