D3 body, D1 cock
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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