this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
