"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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