I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
whose parrot is this?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
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