wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
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We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
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