SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
