I'm laying in your front yard are you home
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
