If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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