I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
