My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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