And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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