what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
