OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
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No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
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He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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