Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
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