I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
operation have a gay friend backfired
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
